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Joke of the Day

"Son, I grew up in a golden age when the bookstore didn't have an entire section labeled ""Teen Paranormal Romance."""

"A rabbi and a priest walk past a burning orphanage the rabbi says to the priest should we save the children? The priest responds ""nah fuck them"" the rabbi replies do we have time"

"*God provides manna from heaven* ""Is there gluten in this?"""

"I caught my neighbor putting a layer of topsoil on my allotment The plot thickened"

"A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?"" The pirate says, ""Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"""

"explosion Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"At The Nikon Headquarters We need random people in a room to test and sample our new lenses ""A focus group?"" DAMMIT JOHNSON THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES"

"Why does it suck to be black and Jewish? You have to sit at the back of the furnace."

"What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live."

"I really hope to die as peacefully as my grandfather did. Nothing like his passengers, though. They must have been losing their minds before the plane hit the trees."