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Joke of the Day

"Why does it suck to be black and Jewish? You have to sit at the back of the furnace."

"What do you call a porpoise that acts like a Nazi? Adolfin'"

"Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down."

"People are like, ""Jess, can you give me some advice?"" & I'm like, ""K, don't get kidnapped."""

"I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first! Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?"

"13yo: Mom, I need 3 current issues happening in the neighborhood. Me: How abo- 11yo: WEAK WIFI, BUFFERING, BAD DATA PLAN! ..shoot me now."

"How do Mexicans keep their food warm? Chicken Fajitas."

"Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He's a sneaky bastard."

"I'm always Frank & Earnest With Women In Chicago I'm Frank in New York I'm Earnest"

"What do you call a booger that you've been squishing for awhile? Boograr"