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Joke of the Day

"My wife...she says I can be a jerk some times I think it's nice of her to give me permission like that."

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5 and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"A blonde is walking She notices a banana peel a few steps away. She sighs ""oh no, I'm gonna fall again!""."

"(OC) one I thought up this morning What did the vegetarian lion say before going hunting? ""Lettuce prey"""

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.."

"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."

"Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them."

"Jewish Pedophile ""Do you want to buy some candies?"""

"""Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!""- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear"

"How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos? Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle."