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Joke of the Day

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.."

"I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since. I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne."

"3 Trojans once tried that horse trick on a Greek city... Poor guys drowned in semen without ever being discovered."

"WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test. Turns out, it's cancer."

"What did Tennessee? Whatever Arkansas."

"Why are all blond jokes 1 liners... So men can understand them too!"

"I like to ask people what their sign is and then read them a completely different sign's horoscope just to hear them say ""that's so me!"""

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never had a lentil on my face before!"

"Me: I just want to sleep! Brain: AND I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT EVERY LIFE CHOICE YOU'VE EVER MADE! Bladder: Oh & don't forget about me."

"My ex-girlfriend and I both went blind before we broke up. After that, we just couldn't see each other anymore."