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Joke of the Day

"Shouldn't brothels be called ""hoe-tels""? I apologise for any loss of brain cells caused by this joke..."

"You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times."

"congrats to those who made it onto my ""Not A Lizard"" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum."

"I don't believe ppl who ""don't masturbate cuz it's not the real thing."" When I run out of Frosted Flakes, I put sugar on my Corn Flakes."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. It's ok though, she always comes crawling back."

"I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now i can't find him."

"Have you seen the clown that hides from gay people?"

"I'd have to say that my biggest downfall was about two flights of stairs."

"I don't mean to sound racist, but why do all Chinese food takeout boxes look the same?"

"My wedding vows said ""till death do us part."" My wife died, so I was a free man. Then she came back and bit me."