33369

Joke of the Day

"14 year old me would be shocked to learn that knowing every word to Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire' has done nothing for our career."

"Name two things that are black and blue and had sex Bill Cosby with his sweater and his accuser"

"""Bluetooth or crazy"" - is a guessing game I play when I see someone talking to themselves on the street. I usually guess wrong."

"Simba was moving too slow, so I told him........... Mufasa"

"Every time I post,, I get a rush like I'm releasing a little animal into the wild... A hideous, deformed animal that no one will ever love..."

"How can you tell that a straight pin is confused? Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other."

"My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down."

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 50 pounds."

"Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was *in tents.*"