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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell that a straight pin is confused? Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other."

"I think Marco Rubio has spine issues. Every time someone says Marco, someone says POLIO"

"We all have that one friend who returns our yacht a little too clean."

"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"

"Whichever way you cut it, it's always a piece of cake Title"

"I got like 30 followers off a tweet about free porn sites, to which I say free credit report lose weight free penis enlargement."

"ISIS is taking back territory after a surprise turn of events. Their new partnership with Samsung is quickly paying off"

"""the pizza boy is here"" It's time, I thought, cocking my shotgun. I was sending this half pizza half man abomination straight back to hell"

"My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she tries to get out of the car."

"Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with"