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Joke of the Day
"Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat."
Next Joke
"If Han Solo were Mexican... We'd have Juan Solo"
"My son also calls crystal meth, ""Cwistal Math""! A-dorable! ;)"
"I'm writing a research paper on banning shredded cheese in supermarkets and instead only selling cheese is large blocks. The title is ""Make America Grate Again."""
"Today I was hit in the back of the head with a bag of ice I was knocked out cold"
"Why is six scared of seven?... Because seven was registered as a six offender."
"I'm looking for a new nursing home for my mother. Something without phones or access to postage stamps."
"Miracles do happen even on Facebook and Twitter. Come Sunday and suddenly everyone becomes a preacher."
"Sometimes I'll stop the treadmill at the gym and run in place. When people ask me what I'm doing, I'll say, ""Pretend stoplight."""
"Did you hear about the pessimistic man who was missing a chromosome? He was a real downer."