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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a research paper on banning shredded cheese in supermarkets and instead only selling cheese is large blocks. The title is ""Make America Grate Again."""

"2 condoms are walking down the street and pass a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, you wanna go get shit faced?"""

"Money's missing from under my pillow, I think I've been visited by the teef fairy."

"How do blind people sign contracts? On the dotted line."

"How do you get a date on Tinder? Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated."

"I guess my parents were secret agents all along. I heard they're getting a divorce because my dad got blown by the mailman."

"You know you're getting old when ... the doctor tells you to slow down and the cops tell you to speed up."

"I like my women like I like my wine.. 12 years old and locked up in a cellar."

"What is the common trait between men and snow? You don't know how many centimeters you'll get, neither how long will it last."

"I popped into the library this morning and asked if there was any books on Facebook status jokes? The librarian said, ""They've all been stolen."" ""That's the one."" I replied."