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Joke of the Day

"I had a dog with no legs.. I named him cigarette so I could take him for a drag."

"Jesus knock tentatively on God's door, enters, and God says..... Now lets go through this one more time....What exactly did you tell them again?"

"if religion is the opium of the masses then i smoke weed everyday!"

"""oh no, this is so scary or whatever lol"" -giraffe in quicksand"

"I'm allergic to sharks.. ..one shark bite and it's straight to the ER for me."

"2 Mexicans escape from prison. ""Jesus, take the wheel!"""

"Putin denies Russian naval exercises in Finnish waters, claims that sonar readings ""were misinterpreted"". Whoops, wrong sub."

"Every meal I didn't have to cook myself is the best meal I've ever had."

"And the Oscar goes to.................................... Court for killing his girlfriend."