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Joke of the Day

"Just banged my toe on a table & kept moaning in pain so much that I made a new Coldplay song."

"On the set of a movie... ""Alright folks that's a wrap"" ""Actually sir it's a panini"" ""Ugh..Take five"" But there weren't enough paninis for everyone to take 5"

"Have you read the book ""100-mile Horse Trek"" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore"

"A Jew with a boner runs into a wall He breaks his nose"

"Marriage... a relationship between a person who's always right and her husband."

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ......All of it."

"I'm old enough to remember when a car on the back of a tow truck meant a transmission problem rather than repossession problem."

"Titanic the boat cost $174 million, Titanic the film cost $200 million. Why didn't James Cameron just rebuild the ship and sink it for real?"

"So i was trying to come up with a short joke about Catholic priests... But all the little ones were taken :v"

"Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!"