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Joke of the Day

"Listen Target, I always try products before I buy them and if that means dry humping the shit out of your body pillows in aisle 9, so be it."

"Bought a cheap horse over the weekend. Problem is she sleeps all day. What a nightmare."

"Dentist: You don't have to floss all your teeth. Only the ones you wanna keep! *I start flossing his teeth* D: Um... Me: These are mine now"

"I'm very English. I ordered a book off the internet the other day called ""How to have nothing to do with your neighbours"" Unfortunately, I was out when it arrived..."

"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy."

"What is black, white, and red all over? Interracial double penetration"

"I know I know So what do you call a black woman who has had 9 abortions? A Crime Fighter!!!"

"My drivers Ed teacher told me to pull over somewhere safe... Five minutes later he said, ""Why haven't you pulled over yet?"" I said, ""Because we're still in Detroit."""

"Why are Bananas and Chocolate Good friends? They compliment each other nicely."

"Penny for the Ruble...oh wait never mind!"