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Joke of the Day

"If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*."

"What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Scratching the hell out of his coffin lid."

"What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist."

"Back in my day, we didn't have Twitter, Facebook, or even the internet. Guys would have to walk uphill for days to tell me that I'm gay."

"I got hit hard in the head with a can of 7up today... I'm alright though, it was a soft drink."

"I am exceedingly charismatic but I have trouble pronouncing words beginning with 'f' and 'th'..... ...... Can't say fairer than that."

"What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick."

"A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever."

"What's the hardest part of being a gay black cop? The discrimination."

"What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes? Tripoli batteries."