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Joke of the Day

"Why do Baptists have so many children? They only use holy condoms."

"Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday."

"Wait...the ""S"" in ASAP doesn't stand for ""Slowly?"" Shit. This has cost me 27, maybe 28 jobs."

"<--------- This guy can't think of anything to tweet so he's gone & done a cute little arrow & pointed it at his Avi with a funny comment."

"How much does the Holocaust?"

"Damn girl, are you /r/jokes Because you are getting old"

"Did you guys know that water can talk? Water you talking about?"

"HELLO 911, I NEED TO REPORT A HALO SCORE THAT'S ""CRIMINALLY"" HIGH LOL!!!! ... yes you can talk to my mom"

"Overheard 10 plan her b-day party with her BFF, including renting several hotel rooms for a mega sleepover. Somebody tell her, I can't."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."