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Joke of the Day

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult."

"this is what happens when you don't read the comments before commenting [deleted]"

"I don't want to sound ignorant, but if I can't understand something, then it's stupid and I hate it."

"Question: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Answer: A Lickalotopus."

"I was in the gym. ""1,2,3,4,"" counted my personal trainer, as I panted. ""Come on,"" he added, ""Now we've got you down the stairs, we can do a workout!"""

"well its a strange request ""pleease"" ok ok [doctor says test results again only this time in arnold schwarzenegger voice] its naht a toomah"

"Why was the terrorist masturbating on the plane? He was hijacking it."

"Why did the Death Star hire a lot of football players from Thailand? Because they needed more Thai Interceptors!"

"[greeting aliens] Hello, we are the smartest animals on this planet. Every week we give the grass a little haircut"

"When a guy texts ""your beautiful,"" reply with ""my beautiful what?"" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again."