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Joke of the Day

"I don't want to sound ignorant, but if I can't understand something, then it's stupid and I hate it."

"Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? It was rated R."

"What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Brothel Sprouts"

"you become your ""real you"" when you are hunched over eating a burrito on the toilet and you look up and see yourself in the mirror"

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world, I know because I've done it thousands of times. - shout out to good ol' Mark twain."

"The higher pitched my ""hey!"" the greater the chance I don't remember who you are."

"Valar morghulis the feminist extremists' motto."

"Mathematician Problems What do mathematicians do when they are constipated? They work it out with a pencil."

"Carl: ""It's chilly out."" Me: ""Tell me something I don't know."" ""Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials."" ""Fair enough, Carl."""

"Your Joke Is Factually Incorrect - A Guide to Dying Alone."