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Joke of the Day
"Question: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Answer: A Lickalotopus."
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"Nothing makes you look like an alcoholic more than not knowing how you got a cut on your face."
"After you're done watching them, Netflix should let you exchange children."
"Three is fore for four. And aft to two too."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 ganged up with 10 and killed 8 and 9"
"No matter if you are American or European 9/11 is a sad date"
"How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes? Very satisfying."
"Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again."
"Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes."
"Someone stole my copy of Microsoft Word. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Word, I'll track you down. You have my Word. EDIT: I saw this on /r/puns and reposted it here. I Excel at reposting."