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Joke of the Day

"Do y'all have any tips on growing Salvia officinalis? I could use some sage advice."

"If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky... ... is she still your sister?"

"Science question: can somebody please explain how tiny, tiny swimsuits make Olympians dive better?"

"Terrorists are so slutty They'll blow on the first date"

"What did the football say to the football player? I get a kick out of you."

"[during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?"

"A friend said he wasn't racist He said he wasnt racist because racism is a crime, and those are for niggers."

"Why did the cows come back to the marijuana field? The pot was calling the cattle back"

"If I had a dime for every time I quoted the movie Blazing Saddles... I would have a shitload of dimes."

"Did you guys hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."