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Joke of the Day
"I've finally stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil EDIT: Thanks for front page"
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"How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?"
"A Canadian walks into a cafe, and the barista asks, ""Would you like a latte?"" And the Canadian responds to him ""Nah, just a bit, eh."""
"I went to a blind fortune teller the other day She looked into her crystal ball, and she told me there is eternal darkness in my future."
"A poster with a mugshot saying ""Have you seen this man"" So I rang up and said No. You have to do your bit for society ."
"[makes eye contact with someone through crack in bathroom stall] hey"
"I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night I wanted my first time to be special."
"Everyone lies on their resume but I fear I may have gone overboard with 'immortal' and 'shoots lasers from eyes' and 'hardworking'."
"My neighbours just submitted a petition that I stop setting traps for stray pigs after I caught my 16th police man today."
"What should you do if you find a snake in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe."