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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a blowjob in Flint, MI Pour bottled water over your dick."

"TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Oops, wrong sub!"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch? Phil"

"I like my women like a like my coffee... With absolutely no pubic hair."

"My wife says that we should keep the chocolate milk in the back of the fridge so it stays colder, but personally I just think she's racist"

"If you could go back in time and kill any person for the good of the future, who would you kill? Trump"

"I went to the dentist today... He said I wasn't wiping enough and that I have an anal cavity."

"The iPhone 8 probably won't even have a phone in it."

"I don't run with scissors. The last 2 words in that sentence were unnecessary."

"I know a place where you can meet tons of women. Weight watchers."