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Joke of the Day

"I went to the dentist today... He said I wasn't wiping enough and that I have an anal cavity."

"I couldn't decide whether or not to buy this new king sized mattress I'm going to sleep on it."

"If you post a pic of the temperature in your car on Facebook the University of Phoenix will email you a Meteorology degree."

"What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year."

"How do you know if a wizards gay? It disappears with a poof."

"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means."

"Who is Pitbull's favorite nascar driver? Dale Earnhardt jr."

"Did you hear the one about the Virgin marrying the Supermodel? Yeah, me neither.."

"I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can't any more. My phone battery just doesn't have the stamina any more."

"James Bond went to get a haircut. The barber asked him if he wanted to dye his hair as well. Bond replied ""Dye another day."""