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Joke of the Day
"I don't run with scissors. The last 2 words in that sentence were unnecessary."
Next Joke
"What did the mother of the guy who broke his arms say at the beginning of every 'session'? ssh bby is ok"
"I accidentally touched my dogs balls and now I feel awkward around him. We haven't made eye contact in over 4 hours."
"Stop earbuds from tangling by putting them on then carefully stapling them to your body. Who's ready for music? Not you. You have tetanus"
"I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, ""people."""
"I'm having a hard time... contrtolling my erections."
"If you've ever wondered how many days you can reuse the same lemon wedge in your water pitcher in the refrigerator, the answer is not 11."
"I'm extremely grateful that spiders don't scream back."
"What do you call a molecule with the structure bunny-O-bunny? An Ether Bunny!"
"Old joke, now with new offensive punchline. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. He had a heart attack while raping a 12 year old Jewish girl."