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Joke of the Day
"I took two headache tablets an hour ago... Still haven't got one."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!"
"I bet girls on facebook with the duck faces look for men that make a lot of bread."
"I need the ""Viewer Discretion Advised"" voice to narrate my life."
"Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike? Because it might be your bike."
"Einstein discovered three things slow time 1. Speed 2. Gravity 3. My Wife"
"Just said, ""Because I said so!,"" and my mom called demanding her royalty check."
"Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex. The monkey's name is Earl. He bites."
"Mom! Mom! ""I want to play with grandpa"" ""Shut up I'm too tired to dig him up right now"""
"How can you tell that your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."