31888

Joke of the Day

"Why are pills white? because they work"

"The police came to my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even have bikes"

"You know homeless people are the real progressives of this country. Always asking for change."

"I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft."

"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet. It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out."

"What did zero say to eight? Nice belt."

"The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house."

"PENSIVE MAN: the most terrifying enemy we face is the fear within PERSON WHO NARROWLY SURVIVED A GRIZZLY ATTACK: or a bear"

"How do you piss off 2 feminazis? Put them in a room with each other"

"What's the difference between a leper and a tree? A tree has limbs."