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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a whole note with ""solo"" above it."

"Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks."

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because their boobs are too big for b-shells!"

"Let's be honest: When life gives you lemons, most of you just cry to the internet about it."

"A) I don't care who is stalking my twitter B) I don't care who is saying terrible things about me C) I don't care - OH! Free iPad??? *click*"

"Badly built roofs... Are exactly why I have truss issues"

"Homeless & unemployed cyborg law enforcer Hobocop"

"What came first the car or the wheel? The car because a wheel isn't cary fast but a car is wheely fast."

"If a bunch of white people running down a hill is an avalanche, what is a bunch of black people running down a hill? A prison break."

"Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers one is biting hers one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!"