67555

Joke of the Day

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because their boobs are too big for b-shells!"

"Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you've done for me! I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"a man walked into a bar I thought he would have seen it."

"ATC: ""Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? "" Cessna: ""To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating."" ATC: ""I meant in the next five minutes not years."""

"How did the aquarium win the battle? Giant Fish Tanks."

"How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but you have to get them in the lightbulb first."

"How do you get a Jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve."

"I saw a guy with a belt made out of wrist watches. Thought it was a pretty cool waist of time."

"Checking Your Phone To See What Time It Is... And Then Checking It Again Because The First Time You Wernt Paying Attention! Awkward."

"How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd."