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Joke of the Day

"Homeless & unemployed cyborg law enforcer Hobocop"

"Sort of embarrassing when the babysitter shows up, and I don't have kids, and then it's $300 an hour."

"I like to wear Grocery store uniforms and tell homeless people that I'm there to repo the shopping cart."

"Thinking about calling 911 just to feel a fireman's embrace."

"I'm really surprised I decided to get Botox. At least I think I'm surprised, I can't really tell."

"In Soviet Russia Assholes are like Opinions KGB only lets you keep one of them"

"My husband had to sign a form stating he understands his mother's cremation is nonreversible. I weep for our species."

"I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping."

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed... 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects."

"How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb ? You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction."