189094

Joke of the Day

"A) I don't care who is stalking my twitter B) I don't care who is saying terrible things about me C) I don't care - OH! Free iPad??? *click*"

"I guess the Republican party... ... **puts on sunglasses** Is not cruizing anymore."

"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"

"My girlfriend has the hottest ass in the world. Me"

"What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend? See ya next month."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he never never lands!"

"Mom I am 15 now, can I finally wear a bra? No John."

"Good call inventor of glass tables. There's nothing more appetizing than realizing Aunt Mildred doesn't wear panties while I'm trying to eat"

"How do salespeople traditionally greet each other? ""Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."""

"I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album. It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs."