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Joke of the Day

"Badly built roofs... Are exactly why I have truss issues"

"If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner for a bit They're usually around 90 degrees"

"Which war was the hungriest? Viet-nom."

"Parenting a baby is like an etch-a-sketch drawing. You must be careful, but if you mess up just shake the shit out of it and make a new one."

"What do 9 volt batteries and butt holes have in common? You know you shouldn't, but one day you're probably going to try licking one."

"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street."

"Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it..."

"Better to have loved & lost than to have never loved at all; but if going spelunking was your idea, you should at least *try* to find her."

"So the Boston marathon was yesterday... I heard it was an arm and a leg better than last year!"

"Ya know...If heat rises.. Heaven just might be hotter than hell."