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Joke of the Day

"Is your refridgerator running? Because I would rather fucking vote for it than these candidates"

"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation... It's all great until you realize you're just fucking yourself."

"A man is taking a picture of a koala This has some really great koalaty"

"So my neighbour... So my neighbour asks me if I've been stealing her clothes off of her washing line, I was so shocked I almost shat in her pants!"

"It's stupid that ""girl"" and ""world"" are rhymed together so much in songs when ""squirrel"" is right there for the taking."

"There is no law that says you can't smoke celery inside public places. What are they gonna do? Ask you to extinguish your celery? Doubtful."

"genie: ""thats definitely your last wish?"" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] ""yes"" genie: ""ok"" our dog: ""how can i talk all of a sudden?"""

"A group of prostitutes play WoW. I heard that they call themselves the whore'd."

"Why shouldn't you be friends with a broken clock? Because it won't even give you the time of day."

"Why did the picture go to jail? because it was framed."