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Joke of the Day

"It's stupid that ""girl"" and ""world"" are rhymed together so much in songs when ""squirrel"" is right there for the taking."

"Don't expect me to tweet between 8 & 9 pm because that's when I dress like Madonna for an hour and dance provocatively in front of my pets."

"It's now apparently politically incorrect to say ""Black paint"" Now you have to say ""Tyrone can you please go paint the fence?""."

"Alabama: where the men are men and the sheep are scared"

"My Dad had the eye of the tiger ...and a life time ban from the national zoo"

"A quick Mel Gibson joke. If Mel Gibson directed a popular 90's show starring Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt: ""Mad about Jew"""

"Unless you are a pregnancy test, take your negativity somewhere else."

"Sorry I said you looked like black Garfield in your Catwoman costume."

"I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn."

"If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I'd just yell out letters. - Demetri Martin"