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Joke of the Day

"I had a winning lottery ticket but I couldn't cash it in before it expired and now I get nothing. I am *such* a Democrat."

"My wife said she wants another baby and if I play my cards right, I can be the father."

"Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris."

"You never hear about a new ghost. ""Oh yeah, this place is haunted since Jeff died last Tuesday."""

"My plans must be so fat they never work out."

"They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight !"

"Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ? It saves so much time."

"Anal sex is a lot like broccoli If you're forced to have it as a child, you're probably not going to enjoy it as an adult."

"What's the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance salesmen."

"gingers have so many freckles.. gingers have so many freckles because they're so fair skinned... to bad they're not fair souled."