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Joke of the Day

"I was talking to a man today. He told me his name, ""**B**ernie **A**llen **D**avies."" My **initial** thought was that he was a **BAD** guy!"

"Whats the difference between an Audi and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside"

"How does Norman Bates get to the Bates Motel? He takes the psycho path! (I'll see myself out...)"

"Madonna falling was wrong on so many levels. Well 2, the stage and the floor."

"My wife said she wanted to do it missionary style, so I forced her to change religions and gave her smallpox."

"me: how was your camping trip 5 y/o: good me: what'd you guys do 5 y/o: camped"

"Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don't have them, you cry about it."

"Whenever I walk into a crowded men's room, I shout So this is where all the dicks hang out!"

"Horse walks into a bar Bartender says: ""Why the long face?""...... Horse responds: ""Because my drinking problem is tearing my family apart."""

"Why do babies cry when they're born? Because it's the most painful day in their lives"