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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear the new Whitney Houston album? It didn't make much of a splash."
Next Joke
"Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste."
"How many shrinks does it take to change a tire? Well, first the tire really has to want to change..."
"Do you know what the secret of encouragement is? Of course you don't."
"Boss: I've been told one of you is just a robot car in disguise *everyone stares at me, even Optimus who is drinking oil instead of coffee*"
"Why does a dog? Why does a dog lick its butt? To get the taste of dog food out of its mouth."
"Me: Please wait to eat your Craisins until we're in the car *5 secs later Me: What're you eating? 5yo: *Mouthful of Craisins* ......Nothing"
"What happened to the muslim who smoked weed? They got stoned"
"I got a Jury Summons today, I'm sending them my Twitter profile to get out of it. Fingers crossed."
"Why does Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can jump"