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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the muslim who smoked weed? They got stoned"

"Look, if I offer you a bite of my calamari, you're bound to offer me a bite of your food. Legally, it's known as Squid Pro Quo."

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He was all right. Andddd I'll see myself out."

"Girlfriend is on her way over. Aaaaaaannd history deleted."

"Knock Knock Who's there CD CD who? C DEEZ NUTS *ha* ^^*Got* ^^^*em*"

"Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing? The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper."

"I went to a dance. First they played 'Jump', so I jumped. Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted. Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out."

"What's blonde and intelligent? A golden retriever"

"Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course? He got a hole in one."

"""Um guys wait seriously you guys I feel like we should be going the other way they're shooting at us? Um guys?!"" --horses going into battle"