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Joke of the Day

"What does a black person get for Christmas? Your bike."

"With age comes wisdom... ...but sometimes age comes alone."

"Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror? They wanted to see it crack up!"

"Cross country skiing gets you in great shape in case you ever get sent to jail and have to give simultaneous hand jobs to two guys at once"

"You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard I throw them."

"I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. What am I? 2.71828183"

"Here's a funny joke... Civil Forfeiture."

"Never ask a shepherd how many sheep he owns, I don't think he'd know, he probably falls asleep every time he takes inventory."

"Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life."