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Joke of the Day

"People tell me my humour is offbeat but they get weirded out if you walk around with a metronome."

"Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar? Because they were Miners... XD"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you."

"What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth? A: A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans"

"Due to the weather, I was able to use the words ""wet and slippery"" at work all day without anyone thinking I'm a big perv."

"Q: What is lemonade? A: When you help an old lemon across the street."

"Is it ok if i touch the paintings i have poor eyesight. also i have to have BBQ sauce on my hands because of religion"

"I told her love was all about sacrifice, but she still screamed when she saw the dead goat."

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky."

"What did the music thief do in college? Take notes."