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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? My pad or yours?"

"My wife asked me ""will you marry someone else if I die?"". "" Of course not "", I said. ""I'm not doing the same mistake twice"""

"I like to make up little activities to keep the kids busy, such as ""Go out and find $1000 by midnight or we're gonna lose the house!"""

"""Know what, son? We should do all of our miracles before cameras exist."" - God"

"About four minutes into any run I decide to work on my personality instead."

"Life without geometry... is pointless"

"He: is this love or what? She: What."

"What do the jews use to browse the internet? NethanYahoo!"

"*gets to front of unemployment line* yes I'd like to be unemployed"