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Joke of the Day

"Is it ok if i touch the paintings i have poor eyesight. also i have to have BBQ sauce on my hands because of religion"

"Being a man of many flavors. I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran."

"I used poo to wash my hair. What a sham! Poo doesn't work at all!"

"It's 2011. If you're still using a payphone, you probably deserve to be negotiating some sort of ransom."

"To a guy who said that my jokes about animals are bad I can't bear with it."

"Don't tease fat girls; elephants never forget."

"The blonde tip-toed near the medicine cabinet so that she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. This is not a joke, ambien serious!"

"What number is higher than infinity? 420"

"[Marriage Counseling] Wife: He's always messing up even the simplest phrases. Me: I THOUGHT we were gonna keep that on the download..."

"""What'd you do today"" ""Went on a treasure hunt"" ""I hope you mean job hunt"" ""Treasure hunt"" ""You need to find a job"" ""Not if I find treasure"""