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Joke of the Day

"A Maritimer in a bar once asked me if I had ever tried Moosehead. I said ""No, but I've had some pretty grizzly pussy in my day."""

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"Forgot to put the salmon in the fridge after dinner so tomorrow for lunch, I'll have the salmon and the shits."
"I asked my soap who it voted for, it said... I'd lather not say! note: This one came to me in the shower just now, gotta go back in now. Oh, the irony! I think. ~Skip"
"Cheating is such an ugly way to put it. I like to think of it as outsourcing my sex life."
"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."
"If you're american in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European!"
"What do you say to the midget prostitute? ""Don't you think you're selling yourself short?"""
"Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence? For example : Mr.Walter is in a comma"
"If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale..."
"I'm claustrophobic... I'm afraid of Santa."