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Joke of the Day
"What did God say to all the Jews, Christians and Muslims of the world? nothing"
Next Joke
"""Your mom is over capacity."" - me under my breath to twitter a second ago"
"if i opened my Gryffindor Would you Slytherin?"
"What is Marlon Brando's favorite beer? STELLA!"
"The painters I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0. I asked them, ""Why aren't you charging me for the paint?"" They said, ""Don't worry about it, it's on the house."""
"Felix Baumgartner's 127,000 ft jump becomes world's greatest free fall, unseating previous record set by the 2008 US Economy. #spacejump"
"When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me I was never scared though, I loved disco music"
"whatever you do Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."
"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."
"Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married."