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Joke of the Day

"Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet."

"what did the man say when he couldn't get frea with his dog? oops, forgot the ky"

"Drink coffee. It saves lives. One cup will decrease your chances of murdering someone in the morning."

"A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying ""ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"" Oh boy am I excited, but what does ""ternative"" mean?"

"*holds flashlight under chin* ""...and then the typo appears, AFTER you hit send!!"" *everyone screams in horror*"

"Why did they plant trees in Harlem? Public transportation."

"Anyone can sit here and buy you drinks. I want to buy you dinner!"

"Why are there so many French orphans in the fruit isle of the grocery store? Because they are all looking for their pere"

"If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day"

"I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me."