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Joke of the Day

"I knew a guy who bowled a three hundred and one How do you bowl a 301? Do you know anyone who has bowled a 300 and lost?"

"I have performance enhancing shrugs."

"Why did the boy die when a car ran over his finger? His finger was up his nose."

"just saw someone I love eat pizza with a fork & knife and this just really goes to show that people are monsters and you can't trust anyone"

"Wanna hear a story about a ghost? That's the spirit."

"When you start trying to pick out names for a baby, you realize how many jerks you know with different names."

"A good lawyer, Santa Claus, and an honest politician enter an elevator. They see a five dollar bill on the ground. Who picks it up? Santa. The other two don't exist."

"cried at the dentist today but at least they thought it was because of them"

"Did you hear about the bread-less klansman who couldn't drink milk? He lacked toast and tolerance."

"I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, ""Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. """