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Joke of the Day

"I tried to convert to Judaism, but they rejected me when they found out I was uncircumcised. I guess I just didn't make the cut."

"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they are extremely efficient and they dont have any humor."

"I consider Words with Friends a work-related activity because it helps me take my mind off being stuck in this shithole."

"What do you call a huge ugly slobbering furry monster with cotton wool in his ears? Anything you like ? he can't hear you."

"Why did the man break the clock? He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands."

"A man comes homes and sees his girlfriend packing... ""What are you doing?"" He asks ""I'm leaving you"" ""But why"" ""Because you're a pedophile"" ""Pedophile?... big word for an 11 year old"""

"Life like potato... Only have one, then soldier come and take."

"I like my ice cream like I like my women. Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth."

"Hearing problems I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer."