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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a new Thesaurus... it's quite good, but to be honest it's nothing to write residence about"

"Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing."

"What's the difference between a girl's argument and a knife... The knife has a point."

"[first date] HER: It looks like you work out ME: *adjusting the tissues in my sleeves* Oh yeah, big time worker outer"

"ke$ha gets caught in the currency exchange market she is now ke0.77ha"

"What happens when you drop a decimal point in water ? it floats."

"My granma got my granpa a new pair of pants. When I asked him how they fit, he said, ""like a cheap castle"". When I looked confused, he explained, ""no ballroom"""

"""How about a scarf?"" - Johnny Depp's stylist every day."

"The town council of Blarney, Ireland held a contest for a new tourism slogan... The winner was ""Pog mo Stone."""

"How did Jesus feel after the Romans killed him? He felt pretty cross."