30504

Joke of the Day

"I asked my sister how her blind date went ""Oh it was terrible"" she said, ""He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."" ""So what's so bad about *that*?"" I asked. Apparently he was the original owner."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bjork ! Bjork who ? Bjork in the USSR !"

"Arguing with a greased up Asian... Can be a slippery slope."

"There are many different theories about why humans even need to sleep but I'm pretty sure it's to charge our phones."

"hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. the captain can't talk cause we both said ""hope we don't die haha"" at the same time and i jinxed him"

"*Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food."

"NSFW - Want to hear a dirty Joke? The white horse rolled in the mud. Hiyo. Try the salisbury steak I'll be here all week. (I know its an old one, but it always made me laugh)"

"[proctologist's office] ME: *unzipping pants nervously* PROCTOLOGIST: You're nervous, that's normal, but please zip my pants back up."

"I think it's odd that you can buy binoculars, but no heteronoculars, homonoculars nor transnoculars."

"I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?"