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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?"

"Don't you hate it when... you spend thirty minutes searching for a video, only to close it two minutes later."

"Show your neighbor they shouldn't park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal."

"Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins? Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day."

"Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet"

"A drunk stumbles out of the bar, sees a nun on the sidewalk and pops her one right in the nose... while she's on the ground crying, he says,""Not so tough now, are you, Batman?"""

"My brother won a TV quiz show by bribing the guy who sets the questions. He's a criminal mastermind."

"Not picking up the phone is some of the most fun you can have with a phone."

"Policeman: Why didn't you stop at that red light? Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me."

"Why does a cucumber has a lot of seed? He has no hands."