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Joke of the Day

"I'll stop gnawing the ends off violins when they stop looking like Cinnabons."

"Why do all black men have nightmares? The one with a dream was shot."

"In successful relationships, no one wears the pants."

"I used to know a friend who got sent to a mental hospital because he thought he was an orange. Poor Terry...... He got sectioned."

"Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor."

"Why did the stair railing give money to Beethoven? A bannister always pays his deafs."

"Q: Why did the easter egg hide? A: Because it was a little chicken on the inside."

"Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit."

"[on deathbed - calls for son] "".....if you highlight the shit out of a document, people will think you read it....."""

"I have a good gay joke so good it will make your hole weak."