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Joke of the Day

"Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit."

"I went for a job interview last Tuesday and was asked to describe myself in three words. ""Violent when disappointed,"" I replied. I hope to get the appointment letter on Monday."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? One hundred. Five and the rest in the ashtray. (An Austrian friend told me this joke.)"

"What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap? She had a ball"

"How does a physicist milk a cow? First, he assumes the cow is a sphere."

"Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?"

"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss tumblr."

"A magician was driving through a neighborhood... and then he turned into a driveway."

"A parkourist walks into a restaurant He sees 5 jars. ""What are those?"" The waiter says ""Some are suger, Summersalt"""

"Call your laptop what it really is: Bed TV."