30200

Joke of the Day

"People always say to do exercise, I do Breathing... Could I be more WORKING!"

"Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned."

"""LOL, NOPE"" -Me, 25 seconds into the marathon"

"What do you call an ant in space ? Cosmonants & Astronants !"

"I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?"

"[Nerd joke] Yo mamas so fat... That her jiggle physics can break a gtx titan x quad sli"

"Whats the worst part about being a news reporter? The shootings"

"I accept your apology. Can I borrow your phone? I need to cancel the hit I put out on you."

"Of course men aren't above women... But I'd sure like to be on top of you ;)"

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""